Order of the Phoenix Movie Shooting
by Somaster
Summary: a theater company trying to shoot the movie for the fifth Harry Potter book get into plenty of hilarious mix ups and confusions.
1. Default Chapter

CHAPTER 1  
  
He opened his eyes. It was almost completely dark. He was at the end of a long corridor. In the gloomy distance, he spotted a small door. Somehow, he developed the urge to open it. He walked to it at a steady pace. It wasn't getting any closer. He increased his pace, faster, faster, faster. He started running. Suddenly...  
  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the other fictional characters created by geniuses like JK Rowling or JRR Tolkien or Eoin Colfer. I wish I could write like them but I can't  
  
Lets see if you can figure out what this story is about.  
  
WHACK!  
"Cut!" yelled a pudgy man in a red suit. "Dan, this is the fourth time today you've slammed into the door! What's happening?" A skinny dark haired boy slid into a heap on the floor in front of the door frame. The door had fallen off its hinges and was lying lopsided on the floor of the set.  
"I don't." the boy managed to say as his voice trailed off.  
"All right, don't sit there like dodos, fix the set!" yelled the man as two men in black jumpsuits hurriedly lifted up the door that had been pushed off its hinges for the fourth time.  
"Yo, Corny!" shouted a tall red haired kid.  
"Rupert, I will seriously strangle you in your sleep if you call me that once again!" said the man, infuriated and as red as his suit.  
"I was jokin' around, Corny!" said the boy jauntily. "All right, chill, Cornelius," he said after seeing the man's fuming face. Meanwhile, the dark haired boy on the floor slowly opened his eyes to look up at another pale silvery-blonde haired boy leaning down on him.  
" Dude, how many fingers am I holding up?" the boy asked.  
" Um, eleven?" tried the boy on the floor.  
" Whatever, close enough" said the blonde.  
" Thomas!" yelled someone from another room. "Get over here for this scene!"  
" Crap, I gotta go, seeya later Dan," said the blonde boy as he shuffled away.  
Dan opened his eyes fully. Everyone else had left the room except for a large black animal which had come over to lick his face. It was his thestral, Bonnie. He was supposed to practice riding it for the scene where he was going to fly over London. The thestral had the scent of raw meat about it. It must have just eaten lunch and wandered out of the animal training room.  
"Bonnie, you're not supposed to be here, get back to the animal room," scolded Dan.  
" Well sorry, I was just trying to get you up, jeez. They want you to try the flying scene now. They think you're too discouraged with the corridor thing. Well, come on then, gosh," said the thestral. Dan pulled himself up using Bonnie's mane and tried standing up.  
" Do you know how annoying that is? When you pull my mane like that?" she asked.  
" Whatever, come on, let's go," said Dan, wearily.  
" Right behind you," said Bonnie.  
"Hurry up, outta of your pajamas and into your blood stained robes!" Yelled Cornelius.  
"Dude, I was just knocked unconscious by a door and I'm just getting to my senses," complained Dan, as he slid his blood stained robes on. The stains were made of this fake stuff was created by the make-up artist, Staci. It smelled weird but it looked a lot like real blood. Dan heard the grunts from Grawp, the young giant in the next room. Right now, they were having lots of trouble controlling him. Meanwhile, the assistant director, Wei Chi, was having a word with Mrs. Rowling about some of the facts in the fifth novel they were deriving their plot from. Rupert, Emma, and the other kids were already there with their thestrals and were walking outside to try and film the flying scene. The cameraman had to take another thestral to film the scene.  
"Well, here it goes," Said Dan to himself, as he mounted his thestral letting his foot lock conveniently in the depression behind its wing. Taking a deep breath of the cool clean outside air, he glided up gently.  
  
END OF CHAPTER 1.  
  
OK, have you figured it out? Too bad I won't tell you. Figure it out by yourself. 


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2  
  
Dan and his thestral soared straight into the sky.  
"I'm never going to get used to this," he thought as he clung on to Bonnie's mane with the fear of falling off. Behind him were four other thestrals, their riders peering down below them fearfully. Below them was a huge net that their cheap director had "borrowed" from the Ringling Brothers' circus. Finally, after what seemed like ages, they were finally called down. Matt was the first one down. He was afraid of heights more than anyone else. He played Neville Longbottom and it fit his personality quite well.  
Dan finally reached the ground with a bumpy landing. Suddenly, his thestral reached the front of his robes with her teeth and pulled him off to the ground.  
"Ouch! First you start humming the twilight zone theme tune while I'm really freaked out up in the air and now you pull me off like that!" shouted Dan, infuriated.  
"Ha ha! I just love making you mad!" She said gleefully.  
"Chee! What was that?" asked Cornelius with a disgusted expression on his face. "Dan, you didn't look like a natural flier at all!"  
  
*OK people, this is where my story gets a little twisted*  
  
Dan wearily pulled off his blood stained robes and slouched into a nearby chair.  
"That's my chair! Only I'm supposed to sit in it! The DIRECTOR'S chair!" yelled Cornelius.  
"Shut up." said Dan as he slid down even further. Just then, Gandalf walked in with Shadowfax trotting behind him.  
"Am I supposed to be here? I think I belong in some place with woods and Ents." Gandalf said.  
"Eh?" said Cornelius.  
"Wha?" said Gandalf.  
"Wait a second, you are supposed to be in Weta studios.in New Zealand!"  
"No, actually, I am sure I am supposed to be in some forest meeting ents."  
"Aaaaaaargh!" yelled Cornelius, fuming not for the first time in ten minutes. Just then, Legolas jogged in with his bow in hand.  
"Oh!" said Emma. She fainted as she saw Legolas in the doorway. Legolas muttered something in Elvish to Gandalf, who whacked him on the head with his staff.  
"Poo! You are messing up my blonde hairdo. It takes hours to braid these things" said Legolas.  
  
" I can't tip ya, I'm Scottish!" said Gimli, as he walked in followed by an irritated taxi driver. ` "What are all you infidels doing here in my studio!?" yelled Cornelius.  
  
"Egad! T'is Sauron! Take cover!" yelled Aragorn, as he hid behind a miniature replica of the Whomping Willow.  
"An angry dwarf never retreats like a coward!" yelled Gimli, charging forward with his ax.  
" STOP IT!" shouted Wei Chi. 


End file.
